Happy New Year !

Hey sweetiess, I haven`t got the opportunity to make a new blogpost earlier because I was gone in a vacation. How are you guys ? I hope everyone had a wonderful experience for the hollydays and I wish all your dreams come true. As for me I had a great time minus a little experience that made me feel very guilty, I didn`t killed anyone or something like this, I just had a little “affair”. I don`t know if this can be called like that, it was only a few kisses and I feel so atracted to that guy, but now I can`t stop thinking about it and I really feel like I am an aweful persone not only because of the cheatting part but because I realised I am not happy and I am living in a lie. I just hope I will deal with it without hurting anyone`s feelings and hoping my bf will not find out. I don`t dare to tell anyone close because I am affraid I will be judged so I am putting my feelings out here, maybe I will feel some kind of relief.

People are very judgemental when it comes to others and tho I am pretty judgemental sometimes I try to get ride of this habit wich is the universal flaw that makes us bad. I am human and I make mistakes, I do not try to excuse myself I just want to state my feelings.Is it bad that I want to be happy? Is it bad that I want to be in love not only to love someone? Being in love is so much different then loving and I want to feel butterflies and excitement. I am just sick of being trapped in a cage, I want more and I deserve more. So for the new year I will try to get right. I was to much time tied up to make sure everyone is feeling good, it`s time for me to be a little more selfish and to start loving myself more then others. If I don`t love myself who will truly love me as I want?

Vintage

Credits here !

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