3 Simple tricks on ‘How to get rid of your readers and followers’

So you have a blog, be it about fashion, locations, news or adventures or what else you write about and with such a thing comes: readers.
You know, the people who look up what you write and at your pictures and they keep coming back for more….!
In this post I will give you three simple tips on how you can get rid of those readers, and followers, and with a minimum of effort you will soon be free from them, including on other social media platforms you may use – like Plurk, Facebook and Twitter.

Ahh yessss, the peace and quiet you will soon experience, it will be heaven!

 

followers

Bring it on!

#1. Spam, spam, spam. Lather, rinse, repeat

A sure way to chase away readers and followers is to spam your blog-post like there is no tomorrow! It works perfect to start with all your in-world groups, no matter if they are in theme or even allow links: just drop the link to your posts, preferably without any announcement or explanation. Just posting your link will get you banned from some groups, warned in  other groups and hopefully some people will just mute you.
Spam on Facebook is easy! Not only can you easily paste the links in ALL groups you are a member of, do not bother the rules or required topics, but you can paste it on other peoples pages and of course on your own wall. More than once. Just share the love!
Spam on twitter is so simple: just past the link in your tweets a couple of times a day – if you have time: why not every hour! The more the merrier and yeah, you will see your followers run away in droves!
Flickr is also wonderful to annoy your followers: put your blog pictures in ALL the groups you joined, just like on Facebook: don’t bother to check relevancy – nobody got time for that!
And then, make sure you re-post on Flickr several times; to make sure everyone in all time-zones, every time they check their Flickr, they will see your same picture on top of their feed. Amazing how fast the number of followers and groups will drop!

#2. Ignore your readers and fans completely

In case you still have too many readers and/or followers after you practiced the spam, and they even have the nerve to comment on your blog-posts, your Facebook updates, they keep re-tweeting you or favourite and comment on your pictures on Flickr it is really time to stop interacting.
Just ignore them.
Don’t answer their questions, pfff let them find out themselves where that cute skirt is from or on which location you took those pics.
Oh and compliments, obviously you get those on all media – but seriously why should you make time to thank them? Also, of course you never comment on any of their stuff. Not ever.
Just ignore them and yeah, they will eventually go away!

 

#3 Bring in the drama, bitching and moaning

Right, so you still have some die-hard fans left. Sigh. Time to bring in the heavy stuff!
Post random, and very frequent, whining and complaining posts and updates everywhere you can. Not only in blogposts,  but go the extra mile: post tiresome, depressive and/or nasty updates on Plurk and Facebook in which you make it clear that blogging is a very hard and tough more than fulltime job, which takes up ALL of your precious online life and how ungrateful and unappreciative the rest of the world is when it comes to the efforts you put in YOUR blog. Threaten to quit blogging or Second Life altogether!
Moan about ‘others’ or ‘some’, nothing better than a load of passive aggressive backstabbing to fellow bloggers, creators or residents to make sure your followers will turn away from you.
Yeah, the hidden danger on this one is that you will end up being stuck with the real drama-lovers, but for those: proceed with the ‘ignore’ method as in #2!

 

Good luck and…happy blogging!

 

 

 

 

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37 Comments on “3 Simple tricks on ‘How to get rid of your readers and followers’

  1. Do you have any tips to level up in drama, when #2 and #3 aren’t enough? Will you be offering a course for this? (And a landmark. Don’t forget the landmark.)

  2. Post really funny: you wrote it thinking about me? 😦
    I probably have two of the three qualities … I do not say what 🙂
    Good job everyone

  3. Oh, you forgot one wonderful method to scare your followers (at least your Flickr followers): make “love” to every avatar you meet and make three dozen pictures of every event. Try to zoom very near to your “attachments” – preferably in full action – and don’t forget to make several pictures from every angle. The most important of all: use very simple windlight settings – no skies, no shadows, no water reflection – why disturb anyone with a complex surrounding? And never ever set those pics to “private”, because everybody should have the right to enjoy your skills.

  4. Totally agree with Lawrence D, “Satire at its best” beautiful article. The heading caught attention and made me think, what is it?

  5. BWAHAHAHA, I must practice this daily!

    Thank you so much for the tips, Cait, how dare we comment on your articles too. Damn, we die-hards don’t learn, do we? 😄

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